They say that women are from Venus and men are from Mars. I’ve never totally understood this quote but I’d take a good guess that it means that the opposite sexes are different creatures altogether. Growing up with three sisters constantly around me, this is something I could actually vouch for. Like it or not, men will never be able to fully comprehend the inner dialogue of their feminine counterparts, because truth be told, I’m not sure they fully understand it themselves.
Now although that remark may resonate as slightly derogatory, it’s message is far from that. In my opinion, the world is very different for women in comparison to men, and here’s why.
Firstly, we must address the biological differences. This is not the objective of the article, but I can’t discuss psychology without mentioning physiology before hand. The dramatic discrepancies between the male and female endocrine system does have a huge impact on performance, mood and body composition. I would not like to embarrass myself by claiming I fully understand the science behind this concept, however my best analogy for it would be using the film “The Labyrinth” staring David Bowie.
Imagine you’re on a complex journey compiling of twists, turns and unknown embarkments. It’s a treacherous adventure and just as you’re able to decipher your way, everything changes. This untameable “maze” that you thought you had control over, suddenly does the unexpected, meaning a total readjustment in approach.
This is a somewhat similar scenario to when women are training and then faced with their monthly cycle. Diet may be locked down, training may be on point but then out of the blue, weight goes up by 5 pounds and there is an immediate insatiable desire to eat entire crate of chocolate. Everything has changed.
As a somewhat neurotic male seeking strength and muscle, I am meticulous with everything I do in order to get stronger. It’s taken me the best part of 5 years to make “OK” progress in the weights room. However, for a female, a possible 2 weeks of every 4 are spent with a paradigm shift in hormonal output. So in other words, it may take twice as long to achieve the same levels of strength and muscle development.
I can tell you now that if I suddenly lost all my strength gains I’d work so hard for for one week a month it would drive me crazy.
Point #1 - The difference between a man’s quest for strength and body composition and a woman’s one is vast.
And now on to the meaty bit of the article, psycho-social analysis of this funny ol’ world we live in.
This is an open ended question for both men and women reading this article. I would like you to stop, think and come to a conclusion to the following question:
Men – What do you look for in a woman?
Women – What do you think a man looks for in a woman?
Why am I asking this question? Well it’s because your answer will shine some light on why you’re training and who you’re actually training for. The features that come to mind can be from a physical or personality basis.
Before any of the men reading this get cocky and think “yes, I get to piece together my ideal woman comprised of an hour glass figure, luscious blonde hair and bubbly personality”, first consider the figure below
I think in the modern world we have dramatically lost sight of what partner selection is all about. Far too much emphasis is put on the superficial, with no where near enough attention being focused on a critically important factor; the success of the relationship.
Think about this for a second. Why do men and women form partnerships? Well obviously there is that of satisfying sexual desires, which we all have, but this can become superfluous within just a few months if the wrong mate is selected, irregardless of how attractive they are.
In my opinion, the features that you should seek in your ideal partner are those you wish to see in yourself. If you want to be strong, patient, hard working and diligent you need to surround yourself with people with the exact same qualities. If you are the product of the people you spend the most time with, it’s critical you see these features in the person you share a house, bedroom and life with.
Point #2 - Your partner selection is a reflection of your inner dialogue. You go for the person who you believe you deserve.
So why is our current society fucking everything up? Well it’s because there is a distorted message being perpetually fed that men need ditsy, glamorous trophy wives who’s sole objective is to look good on their arm. The cosmetically enhanced physical features are prioritised over more noble quantities such as loyalty, honesty and intelligence. People are more focused on what will give them the visual appearance of contentment and success rather than delving deeper and creating it on a fundamental level through actual emotional connections.
The problem? This is what some men do in fact need. When you consider point #2, the quest for an aesthetically “peacocking” mate makes a great deal of sense for the insecure male. Our brains are still wired in a very primitive way. If a man cannot find validation from his peers through physical or intellectual prowess, he must find alternative ways. This is usually personified through materialistic means and/or frivolous sexual conquests.
The modern day media has grasped this concept with both hands. It has become a juggernaut that has overrun all archaic ways of judging a partner, where number of followers massively out weighs the number of books someone has read.
So how does it all tie in together?
What we know so far is that a woman’s brain does work differently to that of a man. They will be more prone to anxiety, insecurities and threat of other suitors. Monthly cycles, hormones and child birth mean that women do have it much harder than men. These factors are then exacerbated by the constant barrage of a woman’s need to stay skinny.
Let’s explore that word for a moment. To me, skinny implies weakness, frailty and malnutrition. It’s not a complement and it’s not functional. From a evolutionary, primitive stand point, the skinniest would always be the first to die. This leads me to the question; do women want to be skinny or do they think they have to be skinny?
Well as explained earlier, main stream media has heavily influenced this idea. For every squat girl you see who can lift more than the average male gym goer, there are 10 fitness DVD’s promoted by 15 minutes of fame celebrities who claim there programme done in tandem with a juicing diet will get you lean. It’s an up hill struggle for impressionable minds.
So where does this leave them? Who should women idolise when looking to improve their physique? Interestingly and amazingly, I actually have the answer for you.
Women should idolise themselves.
They should focus on building a strong, lean physique that empowers them rather than emaciates them. Arduous cardio and pink dumbbells should be cast aside for sleds, prowlers and body weight barbell squats. Why? Because look at the qualities you MUST have in order to master the latter of these training methods; patience, persistence and STRENGTH!!! In any relationship, the two people involved are equals. Separations or unhappy pairings are usually because their is a lack of respect amongst the spouses. This doesn’t always necessarily have to be the woman, but in the majority of cases it’s likely to be that.
Point #3 - Getting physically strong helps breed a mindset that you deserve the best partner possible and will not settle for anything less
This notion is incredibly important when you consider the alpha Vs beta male hypothesis. Conforming to the typical, modern day female expectations is putting you in a prime position to attract a beta male. This would be someone who is only interested in looks, does not see women as equal and is intimidated by both physical and mental strength. In order to find the right person you want to be with, you must first become the person you want to be. When this is achieved, the rest will follow.
As the old saying goes; “Strength is the mother of all qualities” By focusing on this feature, you will empower yourself as a by-product. As long as your nutrition is sound and consistent, the body composition changes you yearn for will happen naturally, so there is no need for extreme depletion or endless hours on a treadmill. Train hard, think positive and remember that strong is sexy.